Women defying the norm

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Women and the ideologies they uphold have certainly change or rather evolved. Gone are those days when it was taboo for women to be sexually aware, lust over or just wanna have a fucking relationship with a man (or men), those days are gone. Women are having interesting dialogues about men and relationships, that’s not all they talk about though but for the sake of this article I will focus on men and relationships.

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I have noticed, when two or more women meet up they are bound to talk about their male counterparts, and some of these conversations are the conversations that men wouldn’t want to hear. What has intrigued me though is that most women are not ‘happy’, one way or the other, in their relationships and some of them have opted for casual dating, no strings attached type of thing because, from what I have picked up, they want to be able to up and leave whenever it suits them. I don’t know if this is because they are tired of being in committed relationships that end up badly or are just tired of being played like violins. 

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I have heard – I just want a guy who’ll fuck me so good – yes it has come to that, well for some women. I have read a tweet that said, “The only reason I want a man it’s because I can’t service myself”, while others invest on sex toys but they can’t dismiss the fact that – the real thing is better. So for some women (I keep saying this because I don’t want to generalize it, and I am completely taking this away from a religious and cultural context and not all women share the same sentiments. And yes, real relationships still exist), men are there to serve a special sexual purpose – forget about being a provider, protector, comforter, lover and all of those cute titles – and for those who want babies men are good enough to be sperm donors. What I’d like to know is that, have men (some) damaged women so much that they (women) have reduced them (men) into sex-puppets/baby-making machines? There has to be an underlying explanation because these women have undesirable histories, they have been wounded so badly and chances are they using this as a healing mechanism. Having said that, women can choose how to carry themself, whether it defies societal ideologies of how they should be, they have a right to live their lives as they see fit.

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I guess the crux of this article is to understand if women have claimed their sexual power or that they don’t “need” men to fulfill any role except being a sex provider and that they are consciously defying the ideas of what a woman should look for or be in a relationship. Could they be affirming that they too are sexual beings? and that if it’s sex with not strings attached they want, then they can have that with no questions asked and without catching feelings. Or they are just so damn tired.

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1 Comment

  1. I want to have this discussion yaz’…To hear what other women have to say. Personally, I know myself well enough to know that – even if it makes me sound sexually disempowered – I can’t do a smash and grab with a guy and walk away still feeling like completely myself. Obviously some women are able to do that but it just shows how different we are as people and there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to know yourself well enough not to fall into the trap of being someone you’re NOT just because it is what “sexually empowered” women do.

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